


Comfort

by rhoaiass



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, catra deals with ptsd, catradora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoaiass/pseuds/rhoaiass
Summary: Catra is still being haunted by past emotions. They refuse to let her function. Adora knows these feelings wont go away at an instant, but maybe she can make it bearable.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 14





	Comfort

It never got this bad. Her chest felt heavy, she felt like she was being crushed by pain and misery. It was getting harder to breathe by the second. It was starting to hurt. Everything hurt so much...

She tried to open her eyes but nothing worked. She was suffocating under this intense feeling of helplessness. She couldn't bear it, the pain felt all to real. Unconciously she dug her nails into the bedding. Feeling it beneath her finger nails helper her get some sense of reality, but still she couldn't open her eyes.

There was a shadow in the corner of her eye. An evil presence that made a shill run up her spine. She didn't want to face it. She used her all of her strenght to stay clear of it, to run away from it's sight. However, she lost her footing allowing the shadow to catch up to her. It threatened to engulf her.

"Stay away..." Her voice was weak, barely a whisper. The shadow was inching closer, slowly. Catra closed her eyes shut in fear. Before the shadow could eat her very soul, she woke up.

She stood up, breathing heavily.

The first thing she noticed was the lonely presence beside her . Adora must have woken up earlier than her. That didn't help in calming her breaths. Bursting out in a dash, she headed towards the door. Before she could open it, someone else did it for her.

"Catra?" Adora asked taking note of her panicked state. "What's wrong?" Adora took a step forward causing Catra to uncosciously take a step back.

Adora's eyebrows frowed noticing the odd action.

Catra simply shook her head, trying to mask her panic. "It's nothing." She lied, her voice as steady as she could get it. Adora still looked at her in concern. "Just a wierd dream.." Catra replied feeling guilt at the very glance Adora gave her. She couldn't lie to that face. That wasn't fully a lie after all.

There was a few hearbeats of silence. Adora was obviously still concerned and Catra knew that if she kept prodding Catra would have to confess to everything. She didn't want that....  
"So how's the party coming along?" She asked, changing the subject as quickly as she could.

"Well...we're almost finished." Adora replied, her eyes still filled with concern. "Everyone else pitched in their ideas for this years prom theme. I hope everyone likes it.." a soft smile pierces her lips.  
"They will.." Catra assured resting a hand on Adora's shoulder. "Come on. I haven't eaten and I don't wanna miss breakfast!" Catra said before dashing out of their bedroom.

Adora was momenterly distracted by the affectionate touch."Wait Catra!" She broke free from the trance, running after her.

Adora made sure to glance occasionally at Catra as she ate attempting to be as subtle as she could. She didn't look as tense atleast, Adora thought. Though that alarming look on Catra's face was still in her mind. She looked scared....

"Well?" Adora was too engrossed in her thoughts to hear Catra who had been talking for a while. "Adora?" Catra asked again breaking her deep thoughts.

"Huh? Oh yeah I...." She responded, though she doesn't know quite what she was responding to.

"Did you even hear what I was saying?" Catra questioned. "Are you really that worried about the party? It can't be that bad, what's the worse that can happen?"

"Yeah you're right. I'm probably worried about nothing..." She said, more so to herself than Catra.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Catra asked.

The atmosphere was seemingly back to how it was. Nothing odd in Catra's eyes, and Adora made sure to assure that. She sighed, a smile returning to her lips.

"No...you can have it if you want.." She replied.

The soft smile is enough to distract Catra from her worries.

"Anyways....we .... we are going together right?" She asked suddenly after taking a bit of Adora's food.

"Why would that be a question?" Adora asked. " I mean we are....dating right?"

Catra's chest felt warm at the sound of the word. She should know that they were a couple but getting reassured of it, made something inside her feel calm. Being needed by another person, maybe that's something Catra longed for all along.

She averted her eyes when she felt her cheeks feel hot. They had already shared a kiss so she had no reason to tense up like this. However, that wasn't too long ago and it always felt like a new experience.

"Yeah..." She replied softly.

Adora moved closer to her slowly wrapping an arm around her waist. At the sudden touch something in the back of Catra's head convinces her she doesn't deserve this. Something is yelling, screaming at her to let go. The shadow wants to consume her again...

"Catra?" Adora asked, feeling her tense up.

"Anyways-" Catra raises from the chair a little to quickly than she had hoped to. "We should...go pick up our outfits then?"

"I thought we already did..." Adora said. Catra for a bit looks panicked, her expression obvious to Adora.

"Catra? what's wrong?" Adora asked her tone full of worry. It made Catra feel guilty. Did such a person deserve anyone worrying about her like that?

"I-It's fine- It's just a hedache..." Catra lied trying to keep her composure.

"Catra-" before Adora can speak she's interrupted by one of the castle guards. As she was occupied, Catra darts out of the room.

She birslky walked through the halls, her thoughts getting worse. Her chest is filled with an emotion she hadn't felt in a while. It was all too suffocating, all too painful. She didn't want to feel it, not anymore. She breaks into a panicked sprint out of the castle.

Something feels heavy in her chest. Pain, nihilism and suffering were choking her. All a mix of things she thought she had left behind. She can feel her eyes burn. Right now, being in the castle was suffocating. She hoped Adora would understand that...

~  
"Ok!" Adora interrupted the bussle of guards discussing about the party. "I get it, I get everyones criticism..but right now..." She trailed of, Catra's expression replaying in her head. Something was obvously wrong. Why wouldn't Catra tell her then? Something about that stung a bit, but she understood. As strong as Catra is, even she can't handle at that baggage alone.

"All right everyone!" Glimmer interrupts, entering the dining hall. "Let's finish setting up for the party stat! Guests are going to arrive in an hour!"

The guards nod, exiting the room and finally giving Adora some peace of mind.

"Thanks Glimmer..." She sighed.

"You ok?" Glimmer asked.

"Well I am...but...." Her eyes fall on the ground solemly. Just by that Glimmer knows what this is all about.

"Catra?" She asked.

"Have you seen her? She's...been acting strange...." Adora answered, she's obviously filled with worry.

"I saw her running out of the castle just now. Is she ok? She looked...."Glimmer wasn't quiet sure how to describe it. She looked panicked, almost like she was running from someone. Glimmer regretted not chasing after her now knowing Adora was restlessly worried like this.

Adora gets up instantly. She wasn't about to let Catra deal with this alone. With another thanks to her friend, she darted out of the castle in a fast pace. She doesn't know where Catra could've gone but she knows Catra wouldn't have gone far. Since the whole Hordak business was taken care of Catra had been too weary of wandering off too far away from her friends. Adora knew this would be difficult. Things that Catra went through didn't just go away. They ate at her, everyday Adora could see the affects. Catra wouldn't say anything, but her expression said it all to Adora.

Adora suddenly recalls Catra's earlier expression. How much fright was in her eyes.... Adora felt the sight sting at her chest. Adora wished she could do more. Even if Catra doesn't want her to she wasn't about to leave her. They had made a promise after all. A promise Adora was sure to keep.

Catra sat near a cliff over looking the forest. She knew thinking would just lead to her becoming more pessimistic so she just kept her eyes on the forest. The leaves were swaying, the fresh wind pelting at her skin. It would be calming if she didn't have this shadow in the back of her head.

She clutched her head, feeling a tense pain.

Why? She asked herself. Why was this happening now of all times? Today was supposed to be the day her and Adora share their first prom as a couple, and she had to go and ruin it. Solemly she looked down at the trees once more.

Did such a person deserve such love?

She can feel more pain in her head but she simply grits her teeth and bears it. It was like the pain was telling her to leave. To run. A person like her deserves no such life. She's just a nuisance, in the way of a better life to her friends.

She can start to feel wetness in her eyes. She shuts them tight in order to prevent tears from falling. She's alone with her own darkness now. She feels so alone, so helpless. As if this past year didn't happen. She had hoped she was improving. To think that she hadn't changed, it ate at her chest. 

Suddenly she hears footsteps behind her. Startled, she jumps.The figure enters through the forest brambles, blue eyes look on at her in worry. Catra's eyes were filled with the same fear Adora had caught a glimpse of this morning. It hurt just seeing her like this...

"Catra it's ok it's just me..." Adora said, carefully taking steps closer to her. Catra longed for comfort, she can feel her heart fill up with lonliness. Before Adora could open her mouth to say something, Catra embraced her. It was a touch so delicate, almost like Catra didn't wish to corrupt her with her own faults. Adora looked down, she can feel Catra shaking. Her eyebrows furrow as more worry enters her body. 

Adora says nothing and simply returns the embrace. It's filled with just enough love for Catra's worries to slip away, to make her feel safe, even if it's momentarily. Catra melts into her hold a comfortable purr escaping her lips. 

They stand in silence, the birds singing around them. Adora's thoughts are sporadic. She wondered if she should ask what's wrong or completely change the subject. She wouldn't want Catra to say things that might make things worse. Yet, she knew talking about it would probably help Catra get things off her chest. She was conflicted both as a girlfriend and a friend. She knew Catra felt weak talking about her past, her mistakes. Adora would just have to prevent those thoughts from occuring. And she knew exactly how to do that.

"Catra what's wrong?" She finally asked after several moments of silence. Catra looked up at her then averted her gaze quickly. Adora couldn't bear such emotion in her eyes. It was probably eating her up inside.

"You know...the usual.." Her tone is practically devoid of emotion. It even pains Adora to hear her speak. However, she knew she had to bear it. Atleast for Catra's sake. It would do no good if both of them just broke down crying. 

"This morning....Did you have a nightmare?" Adora asked. Catra shifted in her arms to a more comfortable position. Catra nuzzled near Adora's shoulder. It made Adora almost forget what she was about to say. She didn't let herself go into another trance, she had to stay focused. "You...could've told me..."

"I know....but..." Catra trails off. Her words are stuck in her throat. They jumble up, threatening to choke her. She could feel a knot in her chest. "You had other things to worry about..." 

Adora blinks almost in disbelief. Did she really make Catra feel like her feelings weren't more important than setting up for a prom? A small glint of guilt shines in her eyes. 

Catra worries she may have said the wrong thing with the heavy amount of silence that followed. It might not be true, even she knew that. But these feelings were making her feel such a thing. 

"Do you really think that?" Adora asked. Catra feels guilty at her tone.

"Of course not...it's just..." She can't seem to find any words. Adora seemed to understand. After all who else would understand Catra's habit of not knowing how to express her emotions. Adora hugged Catra back tightly for comfort. 

"Nothing's gonna hurt you ok?" She said. "I'm here..."

Those words were partly comforting. Catra was still worried about depending too much on Adora. She shifted again, this time meeting eyes with Adora's. Adora flashes a quick smile, it warms her chest a bit. Suddenly, that emotion was quickly replaced with the nihilism that threatened to drown her this morning. Startled, she breaks the hold reluctantly.

"Catra?" Adora's voice doesn't reach her anymore. All she sees is darkness. Darkness trying to consume and eat at her. Adora can see nothing but fear in her eyes. Catra's heart feels heavy with emotion. She doesn't know what to do. She supposed she just had to let the darkness consume her. If that was her fate then.. 

"Catra!" Adora yelled as Catra got too close to the cliffs edge. Before she could fall too far Adora managed to hold her in her arms. Catra feels feeble. Thoughts and emotions clash inside of her. As the two fall together, Catra closed her eyes and welcomed the darkness once more.

~

Her eyes fluttered open to a shadowy figure all too familiar to her. It takes her a bit to notice that she's not in her body anymore. She's a child. She looked at her small wounded hands in a panic. 

"So...." The unpleasant voice mused. "Are you going to explain to me what you're doing in here?" She demanded an answer. Her narrowed eyes glowed in anger. They pierced right though her.

She processes the situation further. 

This is another memory. She didn't like dwelling on the past but these memories uncovered against her will. This atmosphere was all too familiar to her. Her shaking body, the shills on the back of her spine, and her dread overtaking her voice.

She gulped down that fear the best that she could before she answered.

"I - I was just -" Even if those words were predetermined she still cursed her fear. She was just a helpless petrified child. Anyone would get annoyed at that.... 

"I don't want to hear anything from you unless it's an apology!!" Shadow weaver snapped. 

Her shadow grew behind her. It's inching closer, threatening to consume Catra. 

She can't move. Her body is filled with so much dread that she can't find control of her body. 

"Catra!!" Adora's voice manages to break through just in time. 

Her vision blurs, taking her away from this dreadful world. When she comes to she's staring at beautiful azure eyes. They're filled with concern. These eyes pierce right though her for an entirely different reason. 

"You're ok!" Adora said relieved. She's holding Catra quiet uncomfortably in her arms. Adora's bent down to her level on the sandy shore. Catra blinked still trying to get a grasp of reality. She can see Adora's hair is soaked. She guessed they had fallen into the river below. Catra didn't soaked. She guessed Adora probably had something to do with that. She didn't question if further. 

She's depending on Adora again. However, right now she didn't care. She wrapped her hands around Adora, pulling her closer. It instantly brought her the comfort she needed. Mentally, she cursed herself. 

"Catra?" Adora asked. 

"You...you'd let me stay like this for a while right? It's not....annoying?" She asked. Her tone was so sincere it stung Adora's chest. 

"You're never annoying." Adora simply replied. 

"Really?..." Catra asked once more. 

"Of course." Adora reassured. "Would I still be here if that was the case?" 

Catra can feel her eyes fill with water at her words. They were simple but truth shone in them. 

Catra released her hold slowly. Adora sat comfortably beside her. She intertwined her hand in Catra's. The action soothes Catra's worries. 

"I ...keep having nightmares..." Catra said suddenly. Adora furrowed her eyebrows. So she was correct then. 

"It's always the same... I'm in the same room... It's dark...shadows chase after me... If I'm lucky I can outrun them but...most of the time...." Catra faded as Adora looked on sympathetically. "I don't even like sleeping anymore... it's always the same..." As she continued Adora could feel Catra tighten her grip on her hand. Adora moves closer to Catra, leaning her head on her shoulder. An action to assure Catra that she's right here. 

"How long has this been happening?" Adora asked.

Catra's eyes fall on the gravel below her. "I don't know I haven't really been keeping track..." 

"You should've told me..." She said again..

"I just didn't want you to-" She cuts herself off. Adora can tell her answer from the action alone.

These were feelings that wouldn't go away at an instant, Adora knew that. This was something unfortunately left on Catra's shoulders. The least she could do was make it bearable. 

Adora turned her body, resting her hands on Catra's shoulders. Their facing each other now. Their eyes on each other, it was like an entire conversation entirely.

"Catra I love you." Adora said. " You'll never be a burden to me ok? Not with something like this... It's ok to be scared. There's nothing wrong with that..." 

As Adora spoke Catra could feel her body become veiled in calmness. Her chest feels strangely warm.

" It's ok to depend on me. I don't mind it at all so..." Slowly Adora inched closer. The distance between them is shortened. Catra closed her eyes, taking in the intimate kiss. Her body feels light, her worries are seemingly not there anymore. Even if it's for a bit, she treasures the feeling. 

Soon they both part ways. 

"Tell me if anything bothers you ...that's what I'm here for." Adora said, the usual soft smile on her lips.

Catra can feel tears threatening to fall. Adora always knew how to make her feel needed. She obviously went out of her way for that. Yet, Catra always pushed her away because of her own feelings. She wanted to stop doing that. Adora obviously cared for Catra a lot no matter how much these dark feelings tried to convince her otherwise. 

Tears begin to trail down her cheeks. She tried to hide them but instantly Adora embraced her. As if to welcome her to cry as much as she wants. It's ok after all, Adora's always there for comfort. 

~

They both head into the castle, hands intertwined. The party apparently started without them.

"You made it!" Glimmer met with them at the entrance. She's dressed elegantly in a bright purple dress. 

"Yeah..." Adora answered, smiling to the girl next to her. 

Catra returned her smile. 

"Wait we're not dressed up!" Catra said suddenly. "I'm not about to look like a fool at this prom! I'll be back honey!" She darted out quickly. Adora almost didn't catch the sudden affectionate nickname at the end. Her cheeks turn rosy suddenly. 

"So? Everything ok then?" Glimmer asked. 

Adora's lost in thought, as expected.

"Adora?" Glimmer asked again breaking Adora from her trance. 

"Huh? Oh yeah everything's fine.." she answered. "I should uhh really get dressed too.."

"I'll say...what happened to you?" Glimmer questioned taking note of Adora"s rather saggy clothes. 

"It's a long story...I'll tell you all about it later!" She dashed out of the room as well.

Glimmer sighed. Those two were quiet a handful, but at least they had each other.


End file.
